you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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