ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize