I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize