he wants to bone in the snuggie
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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