Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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