Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
