No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
