My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I need a beard to bite.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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