I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
