i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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