Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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