thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
