i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
