i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I wish they made helmets for livers.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
