I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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