i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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