I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
