I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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