Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize