About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
