I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
