I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize