Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
