You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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