if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he puts the penis in happiness.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
