my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
