I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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