Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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