I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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