i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
cat food counts as protein by the way
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
