I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
