my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i think my cat just said my name.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
