do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
