Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
