she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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