How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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