when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
