I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
This beer is not sobering me up at all
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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