therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize