His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize