"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
