Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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