I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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