So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so let's talk penis.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
