i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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