remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
