What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
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