its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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