I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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