Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
