and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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