i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
