I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she smelled like a LAN party
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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