No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
