Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize