I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
