There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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