Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
